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Who is That Frog?
After I created the name frog juicer I got some people who thought they should call PETA on me for abusing frogs. I can only say I was shocked by the image the two words created in these warped minds! Anyone who knows me at all knows I could never hurt any organism more complex than a fly. So I created this image to give you my idea of what a "frog juicer" is - an elctronics board that provides plenty of the right flavor of juice to turnout frogs to keep them happy at all times. To us nerdy types "juice" means electricity - which is a lot of electron holes in the outer orbit of a copper atom that are free to move within a metallic matrix when a potential is applied. By the way electricity in a wire moves at room temperature moves at roughly 0.5c - not 1c as the common urban myth would have you believe. There, I have established my nerd credentials. Give me some latitude here - I am afflicted with a Ph.D.
Nothing makes me sadder than a thirsty frog that is never given any juice or one that is being given juice of the wrong flavor. The wrong flavor juice causes a nasty shock to the frog and often shuts down the whole railroad. With this mission in mind I created the Hex Frog juicer to allow like-minded model railroaders to feed their thirsty frogs. He was soon followed by his siblings of the Mono Frog Juicer and the Dual Frog Juicer (also known as the Super Frog Juicer becuase of his mighty 33 Amp muscles).
The frog in the picture is a tree frog and his name is Kermit The #6. (If this is gone you will know that the Sesame Street lawyers sent me a letter :-) What he is drinking depends upon your age and perhaps your religious persuasion. If you drink alcohol (ethanol only please), he is drinking a "Frogster" the recipe for which is here. If you do not drink alcohol, then he is drinking fresh squeezed orange juice from the trees in my backyard here in San Diego. Yes, I can have fresh squeezed orange juice ready every day of the year with my grove of 6 orange trees.
Please feel free to use this image of Kermit The #6 under the Creative Commons License.
Duncan (By the way, I am a native Californian in spite of my Mom and Dad's humor in giving me a name more common to the Commonwealth. But I think you can tell that from my warped humor. To all of you East Coasters, if you spell my name Dunkin I will make an exception to my "no more complex than a fly" rule. Obviously, you have nothing to worry about Craig, as you are less complex.)
Some Irreverent Frog Juicer FAQs Some questions sent to me by Novice Nick Woodbe NG Neer.
Q: Will the Frog Juicer work with (Insert your favorite scale here) A: Amazingly enough, I have managed to engineer the Frog Juicer so that it can work with Z scale to G scale electrons. This is done with a real-time adative scale technology known as AllScalesTM.
Q: I am building an Nn3 railroad representing the Colorado Northern before the 3rd Age and after the uprise of the Rockies. It will be unique and better than any model railroad ever built. In spite of that, I was thinking of using your products. How many Frog Juicers do I need? A: 42 Followup Q: But I want to use DC half the time and DCC the other half because I cannot make up my mind which century this is. How many do I need now? A: 0. The use of DC with a Frog Juicer is inhumane.
Q: I just heard about the Frog Juicer. Is this a new product? A: The Frog Juicer was intelligently designed (well, designed might be more descriptive) in 2008. It is not evolved like real frogs from billions of years of evolution and thus it has some flaws.
Q: Can I use my Hex Frog Juicer as a command station to power my whole railroad? A: Only if you have all 0-5-0 locomotives and a Choo-ChooTM sound system.
Q: How can I tell if I have installed my Frog Juicers correctly? A: Turn off the room lights and listen carefully - you should hear all of your frogs happily croaking away....